Often before growing up once or twice you have heard the expression that someone has a "chip on their shoulder." Most people look at this expression in a bad way, which is very true depending on the way you channel this so called "chip".
Today's blog that I am writing comes from watching a special story about Kobe Bryant on ESPN. Today is Thursday May 31st at 7:21 p.m., and during this piece on Kobe Bryant he started talking about why he plays the game of basketball. Now if you know me at all, you would know I am very big into sports, usually when I turn on the TV that is the channel that pops up. Before I go into this blog post further, I want to define to you what having a "chip" on your shoulder actually means. Some people may look at having a chip on your shoulder as having a very aggressive attitude or being easily angered. Another possible definition is someone who carries themselves with a rough edge, who may takes situations to serious or stops at nothing when their focused.
So I ask you, how do you define having a chip on your shoulder? Do you have a chip on your shoulder or have you ever? When I started writing this blog, I was thinking having a chip on your shoulder is a good thing, but as I write this I am beginning to realize it is a good thing which can turn into a bad thing. As I watching a piece on Kobe Bryant he talked about why he plays the game of basketball, he said it's not because he loves the paychecks, but that he loves the game. He said he doesn't hate having to go workout or go to practice or to the gym, because it is his passion in life.
It started to click to me, basketball is by far my favorite sport. I have been playing since I was in 7th grade and stopped playing on a team as I moved on to college. So you're wondering what does THIS have to do with having a CHIP on your shoulder? When I play the game of basketball, I am very intense, I don't joke around. When I play, I play to win. Whether it is outside on the blacktop with friends, or on the basketball court in the gym. For me, I feel like I have a chip on my shoulder. Growing up I didn't have the benefit of being tall, or having some of the athletic skills that many of my peers have. If I ever wanted to earn respect from my teammates, get a couple minutes on the court during games, or even be accepted into the team I did it in two ways: HARD WORK AND TEAMWORK.
So here is where I am going to dig deeper into what having a chip on your shoulder is about. I will be he first to admit that I am a very selfless person, but sure I can be stubborn sometimes. I have grown up with not having as much as some people, or having the opportunities to go to places and do things that some people have so maybe thats why sometimes I feel like I have a chip on my shoulder. What kind of chip are you thinking about that you may have?
Lets see, I hate being doubted, I am that person that will go for a late night run at 1 am in the morning to workout, I will study in the study lounge until I can't hold my eyes open anymore, I will be there messaging you to make sure you are alright, or even if you need a laugh :).
I'm the one that doesn't necessarily like receiving gifts, because I am one that feels that I don't need gifts an that it can go towards a better cause. I'm one of those people that you won't ever really see upset, and if something is bothering me, you won't see it affecting me. Most of the time if someone seems me upset, or stressed it normally revolves around school work. Don't get me wrong, I know its not smart to hide your emotions, but it all depends on how you have dealt with situations when you were raised.
Enough talking about me, because that's not what this whole thing is about. If you can read this whole blog and say that you have never had a chip on your shoulder, then I don't know if your truly digging enough.
I believe having a chip on your shoulder is a good thing, but if not channeled the right way it can turn bad real fast. I remember for my last birthday, a bunch of my friends wanted to go out to eat for it, but I rejected them. I was dealing a lot at the time with my father, a lot that my friends honestly wouldn't be able to begin to understand. On that afternoon I wasn't in the mood to deal with all the happiness of the day and joy my friends were trying to have on my birthday because I couldn't get the negative thoughts out of my head that were stressing me. That day I learned I made some of my friend irritated, because they didn't know why I just randomly wanted not to go. They didnt understand, and I didn't give them a chance.
I am all about living a learning. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, haven't we all? I am becoming much more of a person that allows people to do things for me. I'm learning that sometimes you need help, sometimes you have to let someone try to understand you and where you have come from to appreciate who you are. Being a resident assistant for my 1st year was a real eye opener. I heard many stories about peoples lives.
I'm sure we all have been angry at one point in our lives right? I am one that always tries to channel my emotions into a way other than people aka deal with it myself. I'm sorry for talking about me in this blog, I just think its the only appropriate way to understand what having a chip on your shoulder actually means. This past year I will honestly say has been one of the toughest of my entire life, and I am sure there will be others like it too, but what I have learned from it will last a life time. You know the saying, "misery loves company"..well I can honestly say its basically true. The moment you start blaming yourself for everything in your life and not giving yourself a chance then your doomed. Before you know it your thoughts become your actions, and your actions become your lifestyle, and your lifestyle becomes how you will be remembered.
No one likes to apologize for their actions, no one likes to admit their mistakes, but sometimes you need to in order to move on with your life. You know I have many goals in my life and one is to be a motivational speaker, I have no idea how would I do this, but Its something I would like to channel someday, whether its at a job or coaching kids/teenagers, or even adults someday.
The word having a CHIP on your shoulder revolves around having PRIDE. Yes, having PRIDE in yourself and how you carry yourself. Don't become hopeless, don't be the one that blocks all of your friends out from understanding who you really are and your passions in life. In the movies and sometimes in real life it portrays life as being easy as cake sometimes, that everything will turn out okay in the end. Thats not always true, life isint always going to be strawberry's and cake, but what YOU do about it is up to YOU!.
Ask yourself this: Do you have a chip on your shoulder? What does it deal with? Relationships? Friends? Trusting people? Fear of being accepted? Being picked on? Not being good enough for anyone? Fear of being successful? WHAT? Just ask yourself, no one is perfect, and life would not be great if they were, because there would be nothing to learn from then.
If you don't realize what your CHIP is, it can take over your actions, thoughts, and lifestyle. So what should you do about it. You could forget about it? NOPE, that won't solve anything.
So you want my advice on getting rid of this chip you might have? The only way to answer that is to ask yourself what do you want to see happening from it? The way to begin is to forgive the people that may have hurt you in the past, the people that have you made you who you are. The moment you realize that sometimes our worries are small compared to what we should worry about sometimes is the step in the right direction. So don't push it to the side, walk OVER IT.
Build a bridge, and walk over it. Make peace with your past actions and friends. We ALL have been hurt one way or another. Have I been pissed off, mad, stressed out, and even angered by friends that are people close to me in my life..yes. Have you? Good chance yes!
So here I go again, what is your chip? YES, your CHIP. It may have took me 20 years to exactly understand what I feel like my chip is, if you're ever curious, don't be afraid to message me or even ask me what mine is. I'd be more than willing to answer what it is, and maybe you could even open to me about yours is too. You are never told old to learn about other people.
Thats one thing I love about life, learning about other people. We all have out stories, and everyone is different! Thats the best part, no one ever said they would truly be able to understand you, but you could MAYBE give them a chance.
A CHIP HUH. Share that chip with someone. Don't let that chip take over your life, you take over that CHIP. Have any questions, just ask me. I'm not shy, believe me.
Have a great night everyone...and if you actually have read this far..I mean who knows, I will ask you again. What is your CHIP. Find it, and use it in a right way. Never forget that living and learning is a part of life, and that the moment you think you have it figured out is the point where your walls can come crashing down. For example, have you ever had a loved one or a close friend that you have had to end it with. Your done with everything and you think your on the right path before all the sudden memories start to appear. You become frustrated, a don't care attitude, then you start doubting yourself about the choices you made. No one can go back in time and change what happened, but you can always make a NEW BEGINNING. We all have an opportunity, so push that chip to the side, and not only give others chances in your life, but more importantly give yourself a chance for happiness, whether its pursuing a job, loved one, owning a car or a house, or even going somewhere you have never been before.
You Only Live Once.....
Peace,
Grant H
